Reward yourself with time alone – with yourself!
THIS IS A TRANSLATED VERSION OF THIS SWEDISH POST!
After having spent one month in September on Koh Chang, where I devoted myself to a lot of movie watching, a whole heap of writing and an enormous amount of soul searching I realise with grief in my heart that few people ever get this opportunity in life; spending time with yourself to only ponder about what makes life worth living, for you.
“The monk who sold his Ferrari”
At the moment (edit: September 2012) I’m reading the books about the monk who sold his Ferrari. There are 2 of them, written by Robin Sharma. They are incredibly interesting, full of valuable insights and how-to tools to help you realise your most perfected you.
“When the student is ready, the master appears.”
I’m also reading them just in the right time – at the moment I’m receptive. ”When the student is ready, the master appears.” Yes, the ancient Buddhist saying is so true. I am ready and now I see tools everywhere I turn, and I’m convinced that I’m going to reach that stage I so eagerly seek. Simply because I need to, in order to get to the next step in my personal growth. Or I will helplessly stand still, caught in the same spot for the rest of my life –
it’s now or never, folks!
Most people go through life and just react; react on the events life’s passing them. They don’t have time for anything else but reaction; their main focus is surviving. I’m not saying this is in some way wrong, but it occurred to me the other day the world is full with people who either don’t have the time nor the possibillity, or both, to devote themselves to the luxury self examination truly is.
Many people prioritise their families over themselves.
Maybe they are poor, or maybe middle class, but their priority is family, because who’s going to put food on their tables if not themselves? When you’ve got someone to take care of, you can’t just pick up your stuff and leave, because you want to do something as selfish as finding your true self. I understand that and I think it’s sad, because everybody really deserves this.
If you think you don’t need some alone time with yourself, you are gravely mistaken.
Some of you might think you don’t need it, but I’m convinced that you especially need it if you don’t think you do. But it could be in this life time you’re not supposed to find your true self, it’s not your mission in life, this time. And you know what, that’s totally fine, that’s ok. We’re all here to learn different things, and we’re all in different stages. That’s how life works, and that is how life will always work.
You don’t owe anybody anything – but yourself.
Those I feel really sorry for are those who have the possibillity to at least give this a chance, to at least try to find their true selves and be faithful to whoever they are but choose not to. That is tragic.
There is nothing as tragic as a human being on his death bed realising he did not do that one thing he was truly passionate about, or that he denied himself because he was afraid.
That is also tragic. There is only one person in the whole world you owe anything at all – and that’s yourself. You owe yourself to make the best of your life, to be the best version of you. To not even try is to give up, and that’s the only failure you can ever make.
Being alone is extremely rewarding.
I discovered on Koh Chang (and I just want to point out that this “staying alone thing” is something I’ve been wanting to do for many years, but for some reason something always got in the way – guys, friends, whatever) that to spend time alone on your own is so rewarding in so many ways you can’t even imagine. Just as I thought, but you have to be brave enought to give it a try.
Does it scare you to wake up alone and fall asleep alone, and during that time spend all day – alone?
Do you feel terrified or bored out of your mind just thinking about having only yourself to talk to, only having yourself to eat dinner with day in and day out? Start small, start by spending one day alone and go from there. It’s nothing dangerous. If the worst thing you can imagine is being alone then maybe that’s exactly what you need. Maybe that’s your mission in life; to learn to live with yourself. Or it might be something totally different.
But I promise you, you will find your mission easier if you’re far away from the buzz, and alone in your own thoughts, without somebody influencing you.
I laugh when the character Gitte in the Swedish movie ”En gång i Phuket” is going into silence, because it’s somehow pathetic, and so typically her character, that type of hippie traveller. I have always doubted the truthfulness in anything they do, since everything they seem interested in is to get high on one thing or the other. But the thing to be in silence or to not speak is actually practised by wise men/women around the world, so obviously it must work. Honestly, I didn’t really try, so I can’t truthfully evaluate, but I cannot state that I was talking very much during the days on Koh Chang. I like the silence and tranquility, I like being on my own, and living in my bubble where I’m the centre and the most important person in the world. In the end there is only one thing:
You came into this world alone and that is how you will leave it. Learn to like and appreciate that person and everything else will fall into place.