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What’s wrong with so many white men today?

sexturismen
  

THIS IS A TRANSLATED & UPDATED VERSION OF THIS SWEDISH POST!
  

I see their looks every time we go outside. I see how they’re watching us and laugh behind our backs. I see all the scornful smiles from the farangs and the pity ones from thais.
  

I know they think he is just my holiday boyfriend.
  

I know they think he is just with me, because of my money and that I’m merely buying my love. I know exactly what they think because I think the same thing whenever I see a white woman and a thai man, or yikes even worse, a white man and a thai woman.
  

I have just as many prejudices as anybody, and I’m not trying to hide it either.
  

I despise men who, going through some sort of crisis, come here to find a young, beautiful woman whom they expect will wait on their every wish. I despise men who exploit these women’s weaker positions by offering them ”a better life” for their souls.
  

I really do believe they are lower kind of beings, not earning their rights to be called human beings.
  

There was a tv-show in Sweden last winter, which made me look at these sad excuses for men in a slightly different manner than before, though. A man named Glenn really managed to get my pity. The only thing he ever wanted was a family, and nobody in his hometown looked twice at him, or even gave him a chance to show his kind and gentle self.
  

It’s so hard to imagine anyone of these disgusting men you see down here could be as unfortunate as him, and although you should never judge anyone by their hair, I’m judging because this type of behaviour makes me sick to my stomach.
  

Coming here is such an ego-boost, for all white people.
  

They are all big, fat and old, and it’s easy to see why they in their crisis end up here – simply an ego boost. You are worn out, old, and nobody wants you back home, so you go to a country, which is poorer than your own, where you only need to show up in order to look like a billionaire, and every young and beautiful girl stares at you with big dreamy eyes.
  

Now hey, hey, hold your horses, I won’t say every girl, because it’s very rare to see a young, educated woman running her legs off to catch a fat, old and unattractive farang. It’s usually those women who didn’t get much of a choice in life. This type of work, whether they chose it themselves or was forced into it (where the latter is the more probable), is a chance to get away from it all, a chance to ”a better life”. What is really better I will leave unwritten, since I don’t know where they’re coming from, and I don’t know where they’re going.
  

Sometimes I think, naively, they might get a decent life, because they actually met someone who takes care of them.
  

But I suppose they mostly meet someone who doesn’t take care of them, but simply takes them home, puts them there, and treat them as their own personal possessions – a slave, who they expect to wait on them whenever and wherever. These men believe that thai women are compliant, but they are so wrong it’s hilarious. Thai women are neither submissive nor compliant, but colourful women who in their right element really have the power over the men in this country. Thailand is very much a matriarchate, and to believe something else is simply a sign of complete ignorance. They even have a female Prime Minister!
  

It’s true that men are higher in social status, but that’s a complicated issue, not one I wish to discuss in this topic.
  

There is however something odd with this country, a strange aura surrounding it. When I was visiting Jane (a friend of mine, who is a thai girl, and whose mother came to Sweden when Jane was in her early teens) in Bangkok I was honestly disgusted with the behaviour of white men over there. Since I was out partying with a thai girl I got to experience how bad it can really get.
  

They behaved like animals around her, simply because she was thai.
  

Now, I don’t mean to imply that she isn’t beautiful, but that didn’t seem to be the attraction. At one point, a guy came up to me with big, big eyes, asking me how I could speak to this miracle standing next to me.
  

  • Do you speak Thai?
  • Noooo, but she speaks Swedish.

  

He thought that was the most amazing and adorable thing he ever heard, and I thought he was the most pathetic person I ever met.
  

He begged me to introduce him to her.
  

But what the… It seemed as though he believed I had actually bought Jane and now she belonged to me, so he had to ask my permission for an introduction. Mindboggling.
  

Usually I don’t get the assignment at home to introduce unknown men to my friends.
  

  • Introduce yourself ffs, I don’t even know you.
  • But I can’t speak to her.
  • She speaks English, you moron!

  

I don’t understand what makes these white men act like rutting monkeys when they come here, and I am so tired of them. So gruesomely tired of people believing that I am one of these rutting monkeys too. Embarrassing!
  

The disgusting behaviour of buying women is now not only limited to old men…
  

The sad part is that this behaviour no longer exists within the age category 50+, but has managed to crawl down the ages. Some time, somewhere it got considered cool to go to Thailand and buy yourself a prostitute. It’s obviously something you have on your bucket list, being white, male, and virile. It’s part of the game, so to speak. A friend of a friend gave the perfect answer to why they wanted to buy prostitutes in Thailand: ”Because we can!”.
  

To me, this is a horrifying development. Or should I say recession!
  

One day we spent a large amount of time in the classroom to talk about a terrible thai woman cheating a farang of all his money. He had built a big house and barns and whatever for her, and then she’d simply thrown him out. Out of his own home. Of course, it was the farang in the class bringing up the subject, well he said something like ”poor farangs coming here and getting cheated by all these thai chicks”, and our teacher told the story which apparantly had been on the tv here.
  

Yes, isn’t it too bad, don’t you feel sorry for them, but usually as you make your bed, so you must lie on it…
  

I feel more sorry for the poor women who are forced to sleep with unfresh, disgusting, old men for the rest of their lives simply to survive. I don’t like people who cheat or use other people, and I, myself, have been used many times due to me being far too kind or wimpish, but stop throwing rocks when you live in a glass house, ffs. Don’t go out buying a woman in a bar only to, after 2 days, give her your creditcard and believe it’s true love. Then you’re meant to be burned. Is this your regular routine at home?
  

Do you go to the local prostitute street/bar, pick up a woman, and hand her your credit card?
  

No, back home in Sweden the men hold on tight to both their wallets and their hearts, so I don’t really understand why they completely lose it when they come here. No, I say: grow up and bite the bullet; you usually get exactly what you deserve!
  

But hey, what do I know? I’m just one of these bitter, nasty old farang women…
  

I didn’t get many comments on this post and the upcoming ones in this topic on my Swedish blog, it’ll sure be interesting to hear from any of you. If you have any comments on this topic. Is it as black and white as I see it, or are there gray zones I don’t see? Please feel free to comment!
  

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26 Comments »

  1. I witnessed this so much over there! It’s awful when you find yourself making assumptions but it’s something I think we’ve all been guilty of. A few of my closest friends, (Swedish too, incidentally) has dated two Thai men in the past four years on the island we lived on, she is still there, and nobody in our friendship circle seems to take the relationships seriously. Both have been quite serious, yet everybody shrugs them off, pins it down to some sort of experimental phase and assumes that they will inevitably end and she’ll met her Erik or Magnus or Johan and settle down properly with them. Being there for so long, it’s so easy to see an older man with a Thai woman and judge both heavily, it is so hard in that exact moment to look past the strangeness of it all and remember that you don’t know the whole story. Maybe they really are happy? She has security and a man who is (hopefully) faithful, and he has somebody to love and be loved by. On the other hand I’ve heard terrible stories about how groups of farang treat the Thai prostitutes that they buy. It’s heartbreaking. Not too many people think about this dark side of such a beautiful place. Any situation involved forfeiting your dignity in order to survive is a tragedy in itself. The whole mess is sad, and you’ve said it well.

    • Thank you for you comment, Sam. 🙂

      Yes, it’s hard not to judge when you see it everyday, and when you have people around you behaving in such a dispicable manner (I’m referring to some white men; acquaintences of mine), not really seeing these particular thai women as real people, but someone you can exploit and use, and throw away when you’re finished. The whole thing makes my heart break too, and that’s one of the downsides of Thailand.

      But I have to admit that some people you see might actually be happy, and what do I know? Now being one of these “horrible” persons in other people’s eyes, I know there are always two sides of a coin, but it’s just so hard to not judge…

  2. I can see how you’re upset as a woman. But for a man Thailand offers you the variety of women you wouldn’t otherwise get if you were back in the west. The problems might be economically driven but that doesn’t make them less happy either for the girl or the guy. Acting like drunk guys grabbing at any woman they see, these are the guys I can’t stand but not every guy in Thailand is like that either.

    • Thank you for your comment.

      I’m not really upset as a woman, I’m upset as a human being. There is a difference. Some might not want to see the difference and simply just think I’m jealous or whatever. I’m not.

      The thing bothering me with this sex industry is that most women in it were not given a choice, to be included or to not be included, and to me that is simply not acceptable. They might have grown into their roles as they might have been playing them for many years, but that still doesn’t make it right. Thailand offers western men a vast variety of women, that is correct, but simply because they’re paying them, simply because they need the money to survive. In my book that is exploiting another human being, and I might see it as black and white, but I don’t understand how that could ever be right. I don’t see the gray zones.

      I have met decent western guys in Thailand, but I’m sad to say they are getting rarer and rarer (or it might be me), and even guys I know from back home are getting strange ideas in their head; many seem to think everyone in Thailand is for sale, it’s just a matter of price. Hence the evolution (pardon the irony – I hope it isn’t evolution…) of drunk men grabbing at every woman they see.

      I understand things in real life are not black and white, but my writing often tend to not show it, my writing is somewhat judgmental, I’m aware of that, merely since I’m interested in discussions, to make people think for themselves. I do see some sunshine stories as well in my new home country, and understand why some western men make this choice to buy their women, although my understanding doesn’t make it right, either. I’ve seen too many sad stories and too much shit to feel comfortable with this, I must admit.

  3. When I wrote this, it was the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep after settling my little one back into bed, so I look-up authentic Thai food. I have never been to Thailand, but earlier today, I had the sudden urge to visit, but my little girl has food allergies and I suddenly realized that I had no idea what real, authentic Thai food was. In my frenzy of looking Thai cuisine, I found the collage of images you posted (though Google images).

    I don’t usually read blogs, much less comment on them, but I just had to comment here.

    1) When people ask to be introduced, it’s actually a nicety in some parts of the world. I understand that the example you choose was about a Swede, but perhaps he actually thought he was doing what was polite.

    2) I get that by actually living in Thailand one gets jaded by all the bought relationships, but where I’m from, mixed couples aren’t unusual and no one questions their validity, especially not random strangers.

    It seems that a whole lot of Swedes bring these thoughts about Asian women home with them. I’m an Asian American living in Sweden with my Swedish husband. I have never felt more wrongly judged than I do here in Sweden. I get that a lot of the Asian women here are actually from Asia, but why the hell is it anyone’s business to assume the worst of their relationship? Maybe I’m naive, but living with these negative judgments everyday is daunting and in my case, they’re far from true. But what about the Thai girl that actually married for love? It’s hard for me, I can’t imagine how difficult it is for her.

    • Thank you so much for your comment, it’s always interesting to hear from my readers, and especially from the ones on the other side, so to speak. I need to explain myself here, since I think you might’ve misread me:
      1. For me it seems strange to ask someone you don’t know to introduce you to someone else. It doesn’t make sense to me, even if he thought he was being polite. It was more the way he looked at my friend than anything, though.
      2. I have no objection what so ever to mixed couples, as I’m in one, myself. It’s also not at all that unusual where I come from, either, and no one thinks anything of it. The thing I’m objecting to is the exploiting of other human beings.
      I can imagine you might feel wrongly judged here in Sweden, since it’s getting so “normal” here bringing an Asian woman home with you. People see you on the streets with your husband and might think you are one of those, which is a case I’m not even getting into, because that’s not my point. It’s, as you say, nobody’s business but your own – your relationship, your life. I can imagine it’s also hard for the Thai women (or other Asian women) who marry for love and come here, because people might assume the worst. This is the case for my friend Jane, everyday. When she visited Thailand last winter with her Swedish boyfriend, Thai people drew their own conclusions and they weren’t nice ones. So, sadly, the judgments go both ways, and I’m subject to them, too.

      I worry about the attitude towards Asian women, in general. As you say, many Swedes bring these thoughts back home with them. I don’t think it’s just Swedes, though, I believe the problem is globe-wide, and that’s disturbing.

      I don’t usually run around in the streets here in Sweden thinking this and that about mixed couples I randomly see. I sometimes notice I am judging too much, even though I know real love exist, even though I know some of the people I see in Thailand are not exploiting their woman. That’s something I need to work on, but my point is merely I don’t get why it’s getting so accepted to exploit other human beings? Why is it ok to buy your woman and why do so many men today think that’s ok behaviour when you go to Thailand? And why do so many people think everyone looking Asian is for sale – it’s just a matter of price?

  4. Hi, I read your blog posting and felt an urge to respond since I do understand where you are coming from. I met my wife at a disco in Bangkok back in 2001. I was 29 years old and she was 21 years old at that time. I was living and working in Japan but had taken a holiday to Thailand when I met her. I kept in touch and eventually quit my job in Japan and moved to Thailand for about 6 months so I could spend time with my then girlfriend. Eventually, I needed a job in my career field and since there seemed to be few options for me in Thailand, I moved back to my home country of the U.S. I brought my girlfriend to the U.S. in 2002 and we got married. At this point, we have been married for almost 12 years and we have two daughters.

    Anyway, I feel that we experience some prejudice in both the U.S. and in Thailand because of the fact that there are so many Farang man / Thai woman couples. In the U.S., people are more likely to view my wife as a “mail order bride” or they might think she was a prostitute if they know something about Thailand. In Thailand, they might think that she worked as a prostitute before we met. Well, my wife never worked as a prostitute but she knows plenty of people who did since she comes from a poor area of northeast Thailand (Isaan). Many of those women get a job in a beer bar or maybe a gogo bar with the hope of meeting a foreign man who will eventually marry her. I suppose some also do it just for the money as well.

    I don’t like the fact that there are so many Farang man / Thai woman couples in Thailand as well as internationally, particularly in cases where the man and woman are so mismatched by age and looks. However, I’ve learned to accept that I should not judge anyone especially if I don’t know anything about them. You are lucky that your own relationship (Farang Lady / Thai man) is uncommon because that means there is less chance for you to get stereotyped.

    Whenever I see someone who is in an interracial or international relationship, I feel nothing but sympathy and support. I know that people in these kinds of relationships encounter / experience things that others do not have to deal with. so I wish the best for you and your boyfriend.

    My family and I just visited Thailand in August. It seems like Thailand is so overrun with Foreigners these days. They are literally everywhere in Bangkok. What do you think?

    • Thank you for your comment, I do hope you are not such a rare person my darker self wants me to believe. 😉

      I know stories like yours and your wife’s exist, but I’m afraid they’re too rare, and I believe the world is a shittier place than I wished it were. A bit too cynical, I know…

      Even though my own relationship is uncommon compared to the one you’re in, I do understand the judgments being passed on you both, every day, and I do feel sympathy for those in the same situation.

      It’s annoyingly tiring to get force fed with people’s comments and one sided views, and as I wrote in another comment answer just a few minutes ago, I’m working on not being too judgmental myself, because that’s not really me.

      However, in this case, I’m not doing too well. When you see these mismatched couples everyday in Thailand (after a while, it’s not really that hard to distinguish the “fake” couples from the real ones, or so I imagine, apparantly!), and you hear from friends of friends back home just exactly how deranged and cruel “perfectly normal” guys can be, I guess you get jaded, or whatever. When you experience first hand white men walking up to your Thai friend in a bar, asking her how much; the thought she wasn’t a prostitute never crossed their minds.

      It’s getting harder and harder to not judge the random men you see, but know nothing about, it’s getting harder and harder to see the individuals, and easier to just see the stereotypes. Maybe my own relationship should’ve taught me to be more open minded, simply because I’ve experienced that both Thai people and farang people judge me, too, and I also know what my fiancee’s former friends said behind my back.

      But this is a topic close to my heart, and I’m sad to say I think it’s getting worse every day. During my first visits in the 90-s it wasn’t this bad at all, or so I would like to tell myself. It might have been I wasn’t that cynical back in the days, and didn’t notice that much of this business. Sometimes I wish I still had my blinders on…

      Today Thailand is, as you say, overrun by foreigners, and it’s hard to go anywhere without finding a farang next to you. Even in the remote village in Buriram, where my fiancee’s family live, I’m not the only farang – there is another one – a man. 🙂

      • When I lived in Thailand back in 2001, my wife and I lived in the city of Udon Thani. I really enjoyed my time there because it was a small city and it was easy to find your way around. Also, it did not have any of the seedier elements that existed in Bangkok and other places. However, Udon Thani is different now. It is much larger, more crowded and it now has redlight areas. It has changed so much that I don’t even like it any more. Whenever we go back now, I prefer the time in my wife’s village in Nong Bua Lamphu the most even though there is little to do there. BTW, my wife’s brother lives in Buriram province with his wife and kids.

  5. Reblogged this on The Wise Woman Speaks and commented:
    This is an excellent article on how white men take advantage of impoverished women (in this case, in Thailand) to marry them or prostitute them. It shows how they think it is their right to do so. That their rationale is that they do it because the can.
    I really like this article because there is so much truth in it. I had a very good friend from Thailand who had married a white American man to get out of poverty. White men are pretty stupid and led by their dicks, though. I have seen their appalling behavior around my friend, how they assumed that she, even more than I, was a prostitute and could somehow be bought. But, my friend is amazingly strong. She cannot be dominated. And, apparently, this is characteristic of women in Thailand – they know how to dominate men sexually if they have to and they know how to survive and even triumph. Lots of these white men who tangle with a Thai women end up getting a lot of what they deserve! I think American women could learn a lot from my friend… I learned a lot from her.

  6. There is a huge thing you missed. WEALTH. It is not “White men” or even “Older White Men”. It is RICH older white men. There is about 2%-4% of the population of white men wealth needed to buy international air fair, get a nice hotel and go clubbing in a foreign country. Of this very small minority of white men with the means, only a small minority actually do. Complaining about ‘white men’ because of an infinitesimally small minority that act like rutting pigs in Thailand would be about like calling all asian women whores because prostitution is big in Thailand.

    • Hi, thank you for your comment.

      Yes, I do generalise very much in this topic where I write about the sextrade; I write white men, whereas far from all white men want a thai woman, or travel to Thailand to buy love/sex.

      I don’t know about the number you’re referring to: 2-4% of the population; which country are you referring to, or are you talking internationally here or a specific country? However in Sweden, this number is too low. It’s not at all uncommon for Swedish people to have the money to travel abroad, it’s more uncommon to not travel. So I excluded wealth, because I don’t believe it’s an issue. Anymore.

      So, from my experience – both seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears straight from the horse’s mouth – this behaviour is moving from wealthy old white men, to all white men, and by that I don’t mean ALL white men, but instead I mean that there’s no longer a typical guy/old man who does this, but anyone could do it, and does too. It’s beginning to be a part of normal travel, and that scares me.

      • The 2-4% was an estimation. Using Sweden as a base line is just flawed. Sweden is the richest country in the world and has one of the best wealth distributions. It also has a very small population. As part of the EU, travel within the EU is easy and relatively inexpensive. Flights literally half way across the world are a different story. Your perceptions on this are flawed.

        Wealth and only wealth is the top 10 factors on who is doing this.

        Furthermore even if you where correct and that it’s growing to other demographics, it is still a minute portion of the population. A large portion of black women are crack whores. You wouldn’t think of writing “What’s wrong with Black women” because a small portion are crack whores.

        I understand that sex tourism is on the rise and that is a real issue. It is an issue that needs to be talked about and attention brought to it. Labeling the issue “White” is no less racist and bigoted than labeling laziness “Black” or drug use “Mexican” or lack of emotional control “female”

      • Ok, first of all Sweden is not the richest country in the world. It doesn’t even make the top ten, so I don’t know what you mean by that comment.

        It’s extremely popular in Sweden to visit Thailand, and many have already. Many choose to visit Thailand instead of visiting another country in the EU, because it’s cheaper once you finally get there.

        This said, I do not base my thoughts and this writing about the sextrade on the Swedish population. Like I’ve said before, I’ve been in Thailand quite a lot, seen many things, met many people – some Swedish, some not Swedish. I do not believe my perceptions on the topic are flawed, however I do admit I generalise pretty hard in my writing, and usually I do this to get attention, to get reaction, because I believe this is a serious matter, and one needing to be discussed. People in my extended circles of friends/family are getting more lax about the idea of buying a woman in another country, especially the Baltic Countries or Thailand, and they would NEVER consider doing it in Sweden. Thus I believe the question need to be raised and heard; it’s not acceptable!

        And yes, it might be that a horde of Mexican men or African men would go to Thailand buying themselves a woman if they had the chance, or they might not. We won’t know that for certain any time soon, I believe.

        We can go on and on debating how flawed my perceptions on the matter are and that I’m a bigot and racist for blaming white men for doing this, no matter rich or poor. The question I’m trying to get people to address still remains, and needs to be talked about. By regular, “normal”, white=western (including adopted non-white, immigrants etc.etc) people. And that is my goal.

      • Semantics matter.

        “The worthless lazy niggers need to be kicked out of prison cause I’m sick of paying for them to do nothing”

        This is an actual quote from someone arguing about prison over crowding in the US. Do you find this to be an effective argument? This is in affect what your post says. You can claim your goal is what ever you want your goal to be. If you are using biggoted and hateful language, the hate and bigotry will be the message regardless of what your goals are.

      • @GENDERNEUTRALLANGUAGE

        You’re being deliberately obtuse and I find it really annoying. I am ONLY responding to this post because some poor soul might actually believe your nonsense.

        1. You do NOT have to be rich to go to Thailand and pick up a Thai woman. Not by western/developed country standards. That’s why so many foreigners travel there frequently (many of the students). European and US/Canada “poor” is Thai “wealthy”. The vast majority of men marrying Thai brides are NOT millionaires by any stretch, nor are they professionals in the top salary levels. Average men with good financial management can afford a 5K vacation. I challenge you to prove me otherwise. By the standards that most citizens of industrialized countries live under, you do NOT have to be rich or close to it, to convince a girl you will change her life and move her to an industrialized nation. These nations tend to be predominantly white, and the most of the wealth there is concentrated in the hands of white people who live there (mostly males). As other groups in these countries develop the means to ravel, men of other races (and women) are doing it too.  White women in Jamaica, Kenya and Egypt, Black men in Brazil, columbia etc. Nonetheless, it’s happening in large numbers, and not by the  elite wealthy citizens of our countries. 

        2. Wealth is not the only factor either. White worship is blatant in many parts of Asia. People like to go where they feel appreciated (or in this case exalted). In Asia, WHITENESS is valuable. Thailand is no different, though to their credit they are a little less antagonistic towards non-white foreigners than many other Asian countries. I read an article about some Chinese business firms actually PAYING random white men to sit in meetings with suits on, just to give the meeting an air of “legitimacy”. Interracial sex is always a difficult conversations waiting to happen. Nonetheless…

        3. I notice that you are relying heavily on Black racial examples for shock/horror value, but it’s cheap and poorly applied. Try harder. You state “a large number of black women are “crack whores”. This is a RACIST assumption unsupported by facts. What is a “crack whore” anyway? A person who uses crack isn’t automatically a whore. A whore isn’t automatically on drugs. But one who does both is most likely black???? I didn’t realize there was a study on this. You’re full of shit.  But you expect us to accept what you write as true. BTW, if you are referring to the united states, there is NO study that shows black drug use to be higher than white use (although black penalization rates for offenses are much higher). In fact, white youth use drugs recreationaly more often than non-white youth. I bet this doesn’t fit into your 80’s era racial stereotypes, but it’s true. Ironic since you are SO OFFENDED by the race-based generalizations in this blog post but you were so quick  to lean on them to prove a point. Here is an interesting article on who uses crack:

        http://www.salon.com/2013/08/10/busting_the_crack_propaganda_myths_partner/

        Lazy indeed.

        4. Her post is NOT wrong for noticing that the majority of men in Thailand doing this are white. However, this is not something that is unique to white men by any stretch. It is in THIS PARTICULAR CONTEXT that her statements are true. As I said sex tourism is a global issue and spans racial groups, but with women you don’t see the level of sexual violence and entitlement towards the citizens of their host nations. The fact that you are so offended speaks volumes. 

      • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT AND INSIGHTS! Wildly appreciated, and an interesting read too.

        I had given up to be honest, he lost me completely in his last comment, but you said it all so well. Thanks. ^-^

    • No problem! I found this blog because I was so…dumbstruck by what I was seeing in Chiang Mai-I wanted to see if it was just my imagination. I am not shocked that it’s happening, but some of the audacity and behavior of these guys is just….embarrassing to watch. And many of them are YOUNG! Have they already given up hope of having organic relationships with women in their own countries? Does the power imbalance have to be stark in order for them to feel comfortable around a woman? It’s disconcerting to see a guy in his early 20’s doing this.

      I believe the guy above was being purposefully confusing and drawing out these ridiculous metaphors to get you to ‘bow out’ of the argument. I normally don’t entertain these type of post but…”black crack whores”??? “N**gers in prison”??? On what planet does any of this make sense in relation to what you’re discussing? Ugh….

      • You so easily and correctly identify bigoted hate speech when it’s directed at Blacks, but you are just blind to it when directed at whites.

        You so easily and correctly identify bigoted hat speech when it’s directed at women, but you are just blind to it when directed at men.

        And yes, the intent was to get the blogger to “bow out” of the argument. Most people do this when they recognize there argument is based on stereotyping and profiling, and that their words are hate speech.

      • The reason I bowed out was simply because you lost me; your message seemed to get stuck in your delivery method. I don’t recognise that I’m using hate speech, I do – as I’ve said before – generalise, but there’s a difference.

        However, I will not comment on this further, since I believe it pointless – your intentions are clear, and I refuse to play that song.

      • @Izzy: Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve heard friends of friends actually stating they’re going to Thailand to “try” a Thai girl, which is just an awful statement, but people around me seem to get more lax about it, and I don’t understand why. I would like to know when this got to be ok, what happened in our society that we simply started to feel numb about the whole behaviour? We’re not even slightly offended by it anymore, and every time when I openly show my offense I get comments about me being jealous or whatever.

        I’m definitely not finished writing on this topic… and it’s great to feel the support from other fellow human beings, people like yourself. ^.^

      • “And yes, the intent was to get the blogger to “bow out” of the argument. Most people do this when they recognize there argument is based on stereotyping and profiling, and that their words are hate speech.”

        Sooooo why are you still responding when stereotyping and “hate speech” was 75% of the nonsense you posted? Your hypocrisy isn’t amusing. Nor is it helping whatever substantial argument you might have buried (very) deeply under your deliberate evasiveness and circular arguing. The blog author was smart to get off the merry go-round with you. I just wanted to point out that some of us see your show for what it really is.

      • Thanks Charnette!

        I think this behavior has always existed in some form or another, and it probably always will. As long as there is an exotic Other, there will exotic Other sex-purported to be tighter/bigger/better/wilder/more feminine/insert whatever stereotype you’ve heard about X group of people. Back in the 1980’s the “Swedish model” stereotype was popular in the U.S. So were “Italian stallions”-shit like that. The economic issue is what makes Thai women accessible Others and in a strange way, this accessibility feeds into people being okay with their objectification. Like maybe if it wasn’t so easy to get, it would be harder to justify it. I don’t know-just thinking out loud.

        I do know that I laugh every time a westerner (male or female) talks about how humble and polite and happy Thai people are. I always say that until you are fluent in their language AND cultural norms, you are simply a guest in the “living room” of their home (or country). Speaking the language is just scratching the surface. Every once in a while, I feel like I can see a crack in the veneers of some people here. It’s in the eyes or facial expressions when they’re too tired to pretend. It doesn’t bother me because I didn’t come here with a simple/idealized picture of such a complex people/society. People are poor, struggling, and they’re putting up with it because they have to. Bottom line.

        I am going on this tangent because so much of the allure is due to the fact that people don’t see (and don’t want to see) the complexity in this society or it’s people. Don’t pay attention to the people calling you jealous. Accusing people of jealousy is an easy retort. An English woman/Thai expat on another blog mentioned that many English men who marry local wives try to befriend her. They dump on her emotionally and rely on her for in-depth conversation and familiarity that they can’t get with their local wives (who often barely speak English). She said that she eventually stopped befriending English men because she was being emotionally used. This means that these men DO crave companionship beyond sex, but for some reason they struggle to build functional relationships with women they have to treat as equals ALL the time. I just find the whole thing utterly fascinating.

      • @Izzy:
        Yes, you’re probably right, people will always crave the exotic, and the economy in Thailand (or similar countries for that matter) makes them “inferior” (in lack of a better word) to the many westernised parts of the world.

        The Thai society and its people are indeed more complex than the phrase “the smiling country” give it credit for, and the women are not as subservient as the men bringing them back home might think. Sure they might be subservient and humble in some ways, but there are so many traits to be mistaken for subservience, though, like for instance the “eagerness” to never cause a scene, no matter what! So Asian… but not at all a female trait.

        I’ve befriended many locals, most of them friends of my fiancee, and I’m often surprised to notice the women are the ones in charge in many relationships, and especially of the household’s money! However – again, it’s not as black and white as that, and I don’t think I’ve seen/heard enough to voice my opinion in the matter of Thai women being subservient or not. I’ll save that one for the future. ^.~

        Could you maybe post a link to the other blogger you’re referring to? It would be interesting to read her blog.

  7. I’m a guy and I tend to agree with you. There seems to be a certain type of man, who without any societal restraints will lose his control completely and behave as he would’ve 4-500 years ago, which does make sense if you think about it, still isn’t right in any sense though.

    I’m from one of the Baltic States you mentioned, in the 90s there was a stereotype of an older Swedish man who came here to live out his pedophile fantasies. Possibly entirely made up but maybe not if you consider the lack of rule of law and the utter worship of anything western. If you ask me, the same man will now travel to Thailand or Cambodia to do the same thing as the situation there is very similar to that era here.
    As someone who is about to go to Thailand for months, I’m put off by the idea of being in a plane full of sweaty, out of shape white men who are all excited about getting boozed up and ready to vulgarly objectify any woman they come across.

    There’s little to do about the situation, as time passes the western countries’ economies will continue to stagnate as southeast Asian economies grow, the abundance of relatively cheap sex workers will disappear, this will still take decades however.

    • Thank you for your comment. It’s nice to hear from you “normal” men who see the wrong in this type of behaviour in other men.
      Being from the Baltic I believe you’ve already seen quite a lot of this shit, so I think you know what you’re talking about. The indifference about this whole situation is what scares me, and the eagerness to put a “normal” tag on it.

      I hope this will pass, too, as you say, as the world changes and the Asian countries are getting stronger. I do feel however, some other poor people will be on the wrong end of this anyhow, no matter how we turn.

      I understand you completely when you say you’re “put off” by the thought of being on the same plan as them, but I do hope you’ll get to have a great vacation and experience Thailand’s better sides, too. Please, feel free to send some feedback when you’re back home. 🙂

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